Give that priest an embryo to play with

The Most Reverend Raymond Burke
Archbishop of St Louis

Your Excellency,

Please accept my thanks as an American patriot for your efforts to persuade your peers to deny communion to John Kerry. Hopefully, your actions will send a message to the other pro-abortion Catholic Democrats that the eyes of the Church are upon them, and that they should consider either switching parties or changing their stance on abortion.

I see that you've paid a price for your work. Stories are now coming out that you covered up for pedophile priests and allowed a transexual to become a nun when you served as Bishop of LaCrosse. Unfortunately, only the most lurid parts of these stories will be remembered by people. The positive aspects of such tales aren't as "sexy" and are therefore too often ignored.

While your enemies might excoriate you for doing virtually nothing to punish Father Raymond Bornbach for molesting a young girl, they'll ignore the fact that he treated her with gifts. Sure, as the child recounted, he may have "removed my dress and rub [sic] my chest and laid me on the bed, he then laid on top of me and started to hump up and down and rub his body on mine," but he gave her a rosary immediately beforehand and a purple bicycle shortly afterward. That has to count for something.

I'm certain that there will also be others who criticize you for refusing to pay for psychological counseling for another of Bombach's victims. They'll act horrified when they learn that you said you'd only pay for a pre-exorcism psychological evaluation. They won't understand that an exorcism might help the child more than post-molestation counseling. Ignore them. They lack faith and will be lost, anyway.

Still others will condemn you for receiving Sister Julie (nee Joel) Green's vows because she was once a man. They'll point to the hypocrisy of recognizing a transexual nun at the same time you oppose the right of homosexuals to marry. "Why give rights to one group while denying the other," they will ask. It's a failure on their part to think things through. Sister Julie cannot be a priest because she has no "little cleric." It would be impossible for her to be tempted to molest her parishioners. Without such temptation, celibacy would be meaningless. Therefore, it is better that she serve as a nun. I'm sure that's how our Savior sees it.

Well, keep up the good work.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot