A glimpse into a patriot's mind

Our Furious Leader's hometown newspaper, The Lone Star Iconoclast, is paying a price for its treacherous endorsement of The Enemy, Kerry. Consumed with an anger befitting followers of the One True and Furious Leader, patriots from across Texas and the nation are bombarding the weekly with letters. My bosom swells with pride as I consider the authors of these articulate and well-reasoned missives to be my philosophical brethren.

I've published some of the better ones below.

I am embarrassed and sad that someone who names his paper after the great State of Texas (LONE STAR) could have the audacity to take a public position against our President. President Bush and the first Lady represent everything real TEXANS and CHRISTIANS stand for today.
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You guys are real pricks for supporting Kerry. If he makes it to office this country will fall apart and will be attacked on a regular basis and American lives will be lost. Kerry is a liar and constantly contradicts himself.
KERRY IS A PUSSY!
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Thank God (am I permitted to say that?) the majority of the country is
seeing how your playing politics and sacrificing our security is showing
what you are REALLY about.
KM
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YOU MUST BE THE BIGGEST IDIOT NEWSPAPER IN THE WHOLE COUNTRY. JOHN KERRY IS A BIG LIAR AND SO ARE YOU AND YOUR NEWSPAPER!!!
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It is people like you that hurts a democracy with all of the spin you put in your articles. without the proper fight against terrorism you won't have to worry about your social security nor your freedoms because there won't be either one left.
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Maybe you can open up a French Pastry shop near Thurston Howell III, and Lovey...
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what a pukey disloyal thing you jerks are doing, supporting phony war hero kerry,
if you're an example of texas loyalty,you fail.you make me sick,i hope your little rag turns into a gas station. WH
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I was appalled by the article on National News, that you, the home town paper of our President. Chose to advertise your distaste for our present President, George W. Bush. Why would you do such a horrible thing to our Commander and Chief. He has enough on his mind lately, than to wonder if his home town, the town he chose to raise his family, will make a spectacle of him; by publicly denouncing him.
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Your abuse of your so-called constitutional rights is not surprising.
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Unacceptable. I can not believe your paper is supporting a flip flopping Yankee for Commander in Chief office. You are pathetic..the rest of Texas will turn on your paper.you just made a big mistake.
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I wonder if your comments regarding President Bush and your endorsement of opponent Kerry would still have been the same if your newspaper had been operating in Iraq.
Instead of printing your garbage nonsense you should close up shop and save some trees!!
CF
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You want make money from George Bush, but you do not support him. Typical hypocritical liberal newspaper.
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Perhaps you think the war in Iraq was unnecessary? Perhaps you don't like having a President living in your little town? Perhaps you are certifiably nuts? I don't know what your deal is, but I think your actions are shameful.
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Why not move to Iraq if you are so unhappy???
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I have for years know some Texans were full of BULLSHIT but your endorsement of Kerry is a beacon for the SHITHEAD center of the world! Thank you for proving me correct.
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Your newspaper is a joke. No one cares what your editorial board thinks or writes. You liberal dumbasses are a disgrace to Texas. Earnest Scott, Abilene, TX

Commenter Jeebs pointed out that I had left out the most patriotically Christian email. Here it is:

I believe the Democrats would nominate and vote for a vine ripened tomato as long as that tomato was "a good socialist". That's right, a tomato. All the (democrat) "talking heads" on television would tell us "their tomato" would raise taxes on the evil rich, and be "fair" and "for the children". Their tomato is pro-abortion, pro-queer, pro-black, and environmentally friendly. And that their tomato would be "strong" on defense by "working with our allies" and the UN. Their tomato is for "FREE" education, health care, welfare, childcare, and medicine for the "unfortunate illegal aliens" who just want a better life picking "our tomatoes". And that Republicans are anti-tomato, and would ruin the air and water as to "destroy" and discriminate against "all tomatoes" by "drilling for Oil in the tomato patch". And that Republicans "have a plan" to keep tomatoes from voting at the polls by chopping them up and putting them "in a salad"!
JW
Bellmead, Tx. 76705

Thanks to "d" in the Frenchman's comments for the tip.