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Wednesday, October 06, 2004

News director angling for Ministry of Information post

Lawton Dodd
News Director
KSBW-TV

Dear Mr. Dodd,

I recently read your reply to a traitorous viewer who had the temerity to suggest that Our Leader "looked nervous, irritable and hesitated when answering questions" during the debate. Your excuses for Our Leader's performance were absolutely on target.

It comforts this old soldier immensely to see that the man whose finger is on the Great Button of the Apocalypse was so easily thrown off kilter by a few tough questions. I bet it scares the hell out of our enemies, but more importantly, I think it sends an important message to our friends. They better not do anything to upset the most powerful man in the world.

There are many people who say that Our Leader acted like an arrogant prick that night. Some might even say that his angry grimaces provided insight into his presidential style. "He's a man who will not tolerate opposing views," they'll assert, "and that's why he refuses to hear the truth about the war and the economy." Those people are wrong. They don't understand that Our Leader is just being resolute, and that by being so, the war and the economy will eventually succumb to his mighty will--just like those metal beams he bends using his special telekinetic powers.

It's refreshing to see a news director who isn't afraid to drop all pretense of objectivity in the service of Our Leader. May you be rewarded with a plum position in the Ministry of Information, or at least, a high paying flack job for Halliburton.

Heterosexually yours,

Gem. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.