Nothing remarkable

As many of you may recall, the General had a scare a few weeks ago and ended up in the hospital. At first they thought it was my heart, but they later attributed my chest pain and tightness to some kind of virus in my chest wall--in other words they couldn't figure it out.

My doctor was off that night, so his colleague attended to me. She was a woman, a product of the seventies era feminism which has elevated women from the nursing positions God ordained for them and made them into physicians.

Taking note that my blood sugar level was high, she began to examine my body for signs of diabetes. I was very wary of allowing a woman to examine me, but my reluctance was over-ridden by the fog of morphine which clouded my mind. She started by examining my feet and ankles and then worked her way up my body. When she reached my little soldier's position, she lifted the front of my briefs and peered inside and said--and I am not kidding--she said, "Nothing remarkable, here."

I immediately glanced in the direction of Mrs. Christian who upon seeing my reaction, burst into laughter. It was humiliating. Here I was, restrained by the chains of morphine and the brutish authoritarian repression of the IV bottle and was was not in a position to escape these women's sadistic jabs at the expense of my most valued member, the part of me that makes me who I am.'

Since then, the remark and the accompaning laughter have haunted me. I am a man, dammit, and my little soldier is muscular and manly. Sure, he might not be the biggest brute in the neighborhood, but, by God, he's wirery.

And, it was cold in that hospital room. Yes, that's it. We've all experienced shrinkage due to a chill. You know what I'm saying is true.

Besides, as I've noted before, the whole size thing is a meme promoted by the feminists to make regular guys like myself feel insecure. Well, I'm not going to let them get away with it. I'll love my little soldier despite his size and lethargy.

Does anyone know where I can buy a Humvee?