The kicker has a badge and he's gonna kick some ass

When I went to my polling place last week, I was disappointed to see that The Party had not assigned any big, burly, Godly men to intimidate and kick the female voters. Thank God The Party was more prepared in Pennsylvania. They hired the best there is in the women kicking business, Scott Robinson, the Convention Kicker.

From the Daily Pennsylvanian:

When I got to the voter registration desk, I became a witness to a confrontation between an election official and a Democratic poll watcher whose name unfortunately escapes me. The election official was behaving very aggressively, and telling the poll watcher that, among other things, she must not speak to any of the voters, or to him, and if she did, he would call the police. She was visibly upset and a little overwhelmed, but she kept her cool. Though they were peers, she called him "sir" to try to diffuse the tension. (I admire her patience, something I don't have nearly as much of; were I in her place, I would've called him anything but sir.)

I learned soon afterwards that this had not been the worst of it, and that it had been going on all morning. At one point, the election official had verbally intimidated a homeless man, causing him to leave without casting his vote, and had prevented the poll watcher from intervening. When the election official involved me in the confrontation, addressing me and blaming the poll watcher for the delay, I said something brief in her defense. She then asked me if I could give a statement of what I had just witnessed to a couple of lawyers, and I gladly did.

This is when I was shocked to learn the identity of the election official: Wharton junior Scott Robinson, better known as the alleged convention kicker.

Thanks to sukabi for the tip.