A real life lesson on life in the Ownership Society

F. G. Wiygul, Jr., Superintendent
Itawamba County School District

Dear Mr. Wiygul,

I envy the people of Itawamba County, Mississippi. It must be nice to live in one of the reddest state's reddest counties, a place where Our Leader beat his opponent by over forty points. A win like that means you can implement Our Leader's vision with a ferocity that can't be exercised elsewhere. I thank the Lord that you've chosen to do just that.

I'm referring to the method you are employing to teach the children of your schools the harsh, but important, realities of life in the Ownership Society. By wresting poor children's lunches out of their hands and replacing them with peanut butter and jelly sandwiches, you gave these children a lesson they'll never forget. The shame and humiliation they felt will surely prod them into escaping their poverty by investing sensibly in mutual funds.

The other children certainly learned from this exercise as well. When they saw what happens to kids whose parents fall behind on lunch payments, they learned the importance of paying one's bills on time. When they grow up, I doubt a single one of them will be late making a credit card payment.

You're doing great things there in Itawamba County. I hope you're documenting it, so that you can share what you've learned with the rest of the nation.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot