A traitor in my terrarium

David Horowitz
Genesio Zenone
Discover The Network

Dear Mr. Horowitz and Mr. Zenone,

I never thought I'd ever find myself thanking a couple of foreigners, but here I am, thanking you for creating a database of people who are enemies of all that is right and holy. I hope that you will allow me to add another name to your list.

Ever since I heard Sen. Cornyn's comments on homosexuality and the lustful nature of box turtles, I've noticed that my roommate, Pokey, has been acting in a manner that is not only offensive to God, but is surely intended to undermine the traditional American values of anyone with whom he comes into contact. You see, he does this thing where he slowly pokes his head in and out of his shell in a way that is highly suggestive. When I see it, I can't help but get out the honey and leafy greens and...well..uh, I think you can picture it.

Anyway, once I start in with Pokey, I begin to think that if homosexual marriage leads people to commit certain pleasurable acts with their box turtles in the privacy of their own homes, then maybe we should forget about passing that Homosexual Discrimination Constitutional Amendment. Of course, I come back to my senses afterward, but you can see just how seditious turtles like Pokey can be.

I hope that you'll consider adding him to the list as a warning to others.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot