Coup d'yoshida

Adam Yoshida, a patriot who single-handedly conquered his mother's basement in British Columbia and is now attempting to have it annexed by the State of Alabama, tells us why our coup in Venezuela failed:

There were three major reasons for the failure of the coup, in my view;

First: though the plotters successfully captured Chavez they, for some insane reason, failed to immediately execute him. This, of course, allowed him to resume power once the plot had collapsed.

Second, the plotters failed to dispose of other major regime figures, most notably the Vice President.

Finally, action taken to suppress protests after the coup were weak and half-hearted. It may be politically incorrect to say so, but a coup isn’t a tea party: people have to die.