We eat freedom fries at every meal. It's our way of contributing to the war effort. We see it as a symbolic, sacrificial gesture that'll help us defeat the Godless Muslims and their European handmaids. Occasionally, a dinner guest will spoil our little celebration of American supremacy by calling our sacramental potatoes, "french fries." When that happens, I pass out the ipecac and the purging begins. Our bodies are temples to God. We must not pollute them with french foods no matter how tasty they might be.
One of Our Leader's most faithful servants, Scott Bloch, is conducting a similar kind of purge at the Department of Justice's Office of Special Counsel. His office is tasked with investigating discrimination complaints made by federal employees. He's done a great job. Last year, he prevented many new cases from being filed by unilaterally deciding that persecuting homosexuals in federal workplaces would no longer violate federal law. Recently, he cleared more than 600 cases by simply moving files from the filing cabinet to the recycle bin It's that kind of innovative thinking we've been demanding of our leaders in Washington.
Some of the OSC staff were resistant to Mr. Bloch's bold new strategies and they voiced concerns about them. They seemed to lack faith in the rightness of Bloch's actions. Fortunately, Bloch understands the danger posed by internal policy discussions and has purged these apostates. For that, the General salutes him.