Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Wednesday, May 18, 2005

The sad, sorry plight of the white, conservative male

William Duvall Jr.
District One Judicial Commissioner
State of Maryland

Dear Commisioner Duvall,

Your recent problems illustrate something I've been saying for a long time: conservative white males are the most persecuted group in America. We just can't catch a break.

Like you, I can't understand why anyone would be offended simply because you called a women's jail "a warehouse for illegal female wetbacks." There's nothing whatsoever offensive about that term. Brown people like to be called that. That's why they're always yelling, "call me a wetback, again" when they are beating the hell out of me for being a conservative white male.

Don't let the attacks get to you. I, for one, find comfort in the knowledge that you're representing us. I'm sure that your judicial picks are every bit as good as Our Leader's. In fact, I bet words similar to the one you used were uttered by Our Leader when he first considered nominating Charles W. Pickering to the bench.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.