Crooks and Liars relapses

"[S]ick and twisted Republican Party?" I'm going to turn that America-hating bastard from Crooks and Liars in to Homeland Security.

Homemakers for America

Kimberly Fletcher
Founder & President

Dear Kimberly,

I recently read about your most excellent new organization called Homemakers for America.
I agree that the word homemaker is not a dirty word as others profess, but a magnificent confabulation that clearly has been targeted by the bra burning wiccas of NOW. My eyes welled up with tears just thinking about the good old days. You remember the times when preachers beat us with belts, police cracked our skulls, blacks stayed in the ghetto's, ladies fainted softly, Jews had horns, and homosexuals stayed in their closets while we listened to Pat Boone records in the afternoon shade drinking cool lemonade.

I just loved your slogan "Men build the house. We make the home." Sort of like the way God whispered in Kevin Costner's ear in " Field of Dreams!" I have a brilliant idea for your new endeavor.
"If you cook us food we will come."

Why not promote a "Homemakers Dating Service" for UN-married, divorced, or formerly abused wives and mistresses of the sick and twisted Republican Party. I'm sure there are many in training who have now found the lord and are looking for a man to build that house around. I myself am looking for just such a lady of class and moral Christian values just like you that would cook the food, do the laundry, wash the car, fetch the paper, raise the nippers, pay the bills, pick up my booze, and only speak when spoken to. I also pledge by my high Evangelical values to occasionally engage in a little forced buggery like the kind that Dr Hagar is so fond of. I figure we could go "dutch" for any additional carpentry and plumbing classes my little "Susie Homemaker" will need just in case we want to expand our perfect commorancy. Please let me know what you think from this humble single White Christian Male.

Metrosexually Yours,

Crooks and Liars