Another pitch

Mike Mackey
Writer, Liberality for All

Dear Mr. Mackey,

I'm very excited about your comic book series, Liberality for All. Who could resist a story about robotically enhanced talk show hosts battling liberals and Arabs. It's a sure fire hit.

Given the popularity of movies like The Fantastic Four, Catwoman, and The Incredible Hulk, have you considered pitching Liberality to the studios? With a few changes, I don't think you'd have any problem getting it greenlighted. I'm not talking about anything major, just minor changes like giving the talk show hosts superhero names. Hannity could become The Smirk; G. Gordon Liddy, Captain Hetero; and Oliver North, The Mad Felon.

You should also consider adding Rush to the mix. After all, the concept of a robotically enhanced team of superhero talkshow hosts isn't credible without him. You could call Mr. Limbaugh, The Needle. When faced with danger, he could attack by launching a robotic monkey he carries on his back.

Castingwise, you have to go with Hannity, Liddy, North, and Limbaugh playing themselves. They have already have audiences ready to shell out ten bucks for a ticket--just be sure that your marketing team refers to the movie as a "picture show" rather than a film; we don't want to confuse them. I see the villain roles, President Chelsea Clinton, V.P. Michael Moore, and Ambassador bin Laden, being played by Audrey Tautou, Gerard Depardieu, and Jean Reno, respectively. Going the French route guarantees they'll be sufficiently hated by the audience.

You have to insist on getting Jason Apuzzo to direct it. His film, San Pedro, is the best movie ever made about the Gore/China conspiracy. He shouldn't be too hard to get if you can offer his wife a good "positive immigrant maid" part in the film.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Helmet tips to readers kiche and Tomas