Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, July 04, 2005

I will spue thee out of my mouth

Mary Pride
Homeschool World

Dear Mrs. Pride,

My prayers are with you. It can't be easy being the target of anti-Christian persecution. Hopefully, sometime soon, our government will do something to protect us from those who would publicly condemn us for our discrimination against homosexuals.

That said, I can't help but see God's hand in this. He may be using your detractors to punish you for failing to uphold His values on your website. Specifically, I'm referring to your defense of Saxon Math. Although you acknowledge that "references to demons, poltergeists, and other unpleasant spiritual beings" are a matter of concern in the first edition, you excuse references to fairies, gnomes and medieval life, as well as "the occasional use of words such as hoyden and ribald," in later editions. That's unacceptable.

In Rev. 3:16, the Lord tells us that we must be either hot or cold or else he will spit us out. You're definitely luke warm when it comes to Saxon Math. It's precisely this kind of relativism which prompted many of us to consider homeschooling in the first place.

It's not too late for you to repent. Rewrite your article on Saxon Math. Condemn Saxon's references to fairies, gnomes, and medieval life and the use of words like "hoyden" and "ribald" just like you condemned references to poltergeists in the first edition. Then, God will intervene on your behalf and, once again, allow you to hate homosexuals without fear of persecution.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.