US House of Representatives
Dear Rep. Harris,
I hope you're no longer angry at Mr. Rove. Sure, it was wrong for him to try to recruit other candidates for the Senate race when the seat was promised to you, but it looks like he is trying to make amends. How else can you explain all the recent publicity you've received for your good work in persuading the State of Florida to buy mystically blessed Kabbalah water for use in combating citrus canker. Obviously, Mr. Rove is behind your good fortune. The timing says it all. Last week, you rebuked him. This week, he sends a peace offering in the form of all that free media.
I think you should build your whole campaign around it. Start out with small demonstrations of the magical Kabbalah water's power, like curing the wart problem Neil Bush picked up in Thailand. I'm sure Our Leader and Governor Jeb would be grateful for it, because they'd no longer need to rent Porta-Potties for the family gatherings in Kennebunkport. Besides, you owe them. Mr. Rove had to learn about Florida's investment in Blessed Kabbalah water from someone. Surely, the Governor was involved.
Once you've proven the magic water's abilities by healing Neal's affliction, you can use your position in the House to provide funding to use it for big projects like defeating terrorism and washing Duke Cunningham's bank accounts. The publicity from that'll be enough to launch you into that Senate seat, and perhaps something even bigger.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.