Candidate for GOP Internship

Dear Congressman Hastings,

I would like to take the opportunity to introduce you to Kayley as a possible future candidate for an internship with your office. Since she is still in High School, she is not yet eligible for an internship. But if you win another term in the Washington's 4th District she would be a fine choice.

Kayley has actually seen you in person and as she writes in her blog....

I went to the thing with Doc Hastings today and it was very interesting. Some of the more liberal ppl tried to dig him a little when he was discussing the war, but he was totally prepared for it (no duh~ he's dealt with a lot worse than a few high school students from Wenatchee that think they know everything).

I swear. I'd be a lot more open to liberal ideas if the liberal ppl my age weren't so damn high and mighty about their beliefs. You don't see conservative kids spouting off political crap all the time, but the liberal kids are always right there, as if they know absolutely everything and everyone cares to hear what they think.

Kayley obviously would be of great service to you as an outreach intern to discuss current issues with young people in your district. She obviously has the young conservative touch and can verbally bash apart any opposing ideas with her sharp character and wit.

...if you say you lean to the conservative side (like me) they nod sadly and say "And let me guess, your parents are conservative too, right?" I'm like, "well, let's see. You're liberal, and... your parents are liberal, so... what are you trying to accuse me of, exactly?" It's just funny how stuck up and hypocritical so many liberals are.

But I found her following remark strikingly relevant to the current political situations you are diligently facing every day.

Politicians lie and make decisions based on money and who they've got on their back telling them what to do. So why do people even bother pretending they know politics?

Ah, the things kids say these days. While this inspiring young woman may not grow up to be a political powerhouse such as yourself or even perhaps Ann Coulter, she does embody the innocence and insight found in so many young conservatives these days, and clearly needs your guidance to understand just how politics really work. But if that isn't convincing enough I think you should know more about this bright young future GOP standout.

...I'm 16 years old. I'm a sophomore at WHS and write for the school newspaper, the Apple Leaf. I'm also involved in dance (I take advanced hip hop), FBLA, Youth Group at the Free Methodist church, and soon I'll be in the Honor Society. I love to read and write, I'm obsessed with American Idol, The Apprentice, Johnny Depp, and Jude Law, and I love penguins. Also I love clothes and shoes!

Always Your Constituant,

Commander McCranium - East Side Covert Operations