Taking a Bite out of Address Crime

Lori Sotelo Vice Chairman
King County Republican Central Committee

Dear Lori,

Just the other day, I sent a letter to a Washington State GOP member looking to join one of your voter suppression squads or a GOTV bus-sabotage team for Tuesday. I couldn’t find the sign-up sheet anywhere on your web site, so I thought maybe you guys were losing your competitive edge or getting lazy.

Now, I learn that you have been putting computers to the task of purifying the vote! Your "Integrity Project" is brilliant in both its diabolical methods and its Orwellian name.

According to one unpatriotic malcontent, you

simply got addresses for storage facilities and Personal Mail Box facilities (such as Mailboxes, Etc.), and cross-checked those with registered voters to find people whose addresses matched or, apparently, were close. Then, without bothering to contact these voters, drive by their homes to see if they were real, or do any due diligence other than checking columns in Excel spreadsheets, they filed challenges to these voters claiming "personal knowledge" of their living arrangements.

Brilliant! I though your scheme was simply a pre-election publicity stunt. But, you carried through with the fishing expedition and have now managed to disenfranchise almost 2000 voters for questionable "address integrity."

I don’t understand the ungrateful attitude of some of your victims, though. They should know better than to live in predominantly Democratic precincts and then register as living at a Mailbox, Etc. Nevermind that some folks actually live in apartments located at the same address. And, it is hardly relevant that some live at addresses only similar to Mailboxes, Etc. (like the 80 year-old Belltown apartment building whose entire population you accidentally nailed). A 10 or 20 percent error rate should be more than acceptable if it means flushing a greater number of “address criminals” off the voter rolls. These unappreciative do-gooders should suck it up and do their patriotic duty by sitting out this election for the greater good of eliminating the blight of “address crime.”

I mean, they could choose to look at the bright side. What better way to rekindle appreciation of the importance--the majesty, the sanctity--of our hallowed right to vote than by experiencing how easily it can be snatched away.

Don’t worry yourself Lori. Even though you claimed under penalty of perjury to have personal knowledge about the ineligibility of every person you “shut down,” what is the chance you will actually do prison time? Sure, you may have to fight numerous lawsuits from the voters that you disenfranchised, but I think any reasonable Judge will accept “computer glitch” as a satisfactory explanation of the problem.

Besides, I hear the women’s correctional facilities in Washington State are quite comfortable.

Yours verily,

Darryl
hominidviews.com