Contraceptives: Satan's Own Frito Pie

Mary Worthington
No Room for Contraception

Dear Miss Worthington,

I was pleasantly surprised when I stumbled upon your organization's website this evening. Unlike other members of the forced childbirth lobby, you aren't afraid to talk about the evil of non-procreative sex and the invention that made it possible, contraception.

I have always believed that the advent of sex-for-fun was the catalyst for such societal evils as "the nooner" and "the quickie," but I must admit that I hadn't considered the relationship between contraception and homosexuality until I read your article. It certainly makes sense. Once sex was separated from procreation, it was inevitable that men would succumb to homosexuality's siren song.

I am disappointed , however, that you did not address the relationship between masturbation and contraceptives. Certainly, this is another practice that can be tied to cultural changes that occurred when sex-for-the-hell-of-it became acceptable.

I think that's why so few men do as I do and store their spermatazoan-Americans in mason jars down in the cellar. The advent of non-procreative sex cheapens the value of their squiggly little sperm-baby lives to the point where the average man thinks nothing of murdering billions of them during the time it takes to watch an episode of Dragnet.

Well, your site gave me a lot to think about. For that, I thank you.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

A helmet tip to Feminislamisting.