Help! Mom! There are Mexicans in the Bathtub

Amazon has a new blog-like feature where you can comment on the books they sell. After reading World O' Crap's unpatriotic review of Katharine DeBrecht's Help! Mom! Hollywood's in My Hamper!, I decided to try this feature out. If you think my comment adds anything to the discussion, please consider giving it your vote by clicking the appropriate button.

Your books are a godsend to busy parents like myself who just never seem to have the time to teach their Children to hate the left. I loved Help! Mom! There are Liberals Under my Bed! and I'm going to order Help! Mom! Hollywood's in My Hamper! today!

I think your next book should be about illegal immigration. You could call it Help! Mom! There are Mexicans in the Bathtub!

It would practically write itself. Janie and Sam are surprised to find a dozen impoverished Mexicans in their bathtub. Not knowing what to do, they call into Bill O'Reilly's radio show to ask for his advice. Bill wants to help, but runs out of ideas when Janie tells him that the Mexicans are standing on the loofa. Frustrated, Bill sends Fox Security.

Meanwhile, Mom is in a trance-like state, watching her stories on the tee vee. She doesn't notice anything strange until she yells at little Sammy to go to the store and get her some smokes. Hearing no reply, she grabs her Mighty Spatula of Dobsonian Discipline and heads for the bathroom where she discovers the Fox Security guys installing an electric fence topped with razor wire.

Mom yells, "praise Jesus," and wacks Fox Security Sergeant Jake playfully on the butt with her spatula. Everyone laughs at this until they're hacking up yesterday's smokes. Everyone, that is, except the Mexicans. They're trying to sneak through the uncompleted fence. Mom tells them, "What the heck. I'll give you a quarter if you clean the house while I take the Sergeant upstairs to see my Kinkades."

The Mexicans finally haul out the last bag of trash four hours later and are met by immigration agents summoned by Mom. Everyone laughs as the immigrants are handcuffed. The kids love it when Mom saves a quarter.

You'll need to pretty it up a bit, but I think I've given you the makings of another book. No need to worry about crediting me. I'll get my satisfaction from knowing that I'm helping you teach traditional conservative values to our nation's children.