Grandpa was delighted by her teenage stocking

Mitt Romney's big win in Memphis, the premier of HBO's Big Love and the endorsement of polygamy by two of Red America's most respected pundits got me to thinking about my own polygamist roots. On July 31, 1857, My great, great grandpa, Wilford Woodruff was sealed for time and all eternity to his ninth wife, Sarah Delight Stocking. He was fifty years old and a member of Mormon Church's Quorum of the Twelve Apostles, a body whose power is second only to that held by the Prophet, himself. Grandma Sarah was nineteen at the time.

Thirty-three years later, Wilford, now the Mormon Prophet, Seer, and Revelator, received a revelation from God telling him that the Lord had been thinking about polygamy and had decided that it wasn't such good idea after all. Grandpa responded by issuing the 1890 Manifesto which renounced plural marriage.

The manifesto was not retroactive, so Grandma lost none of her rights as a ninth wife. Still, many Mormons, including Grandpa, didn't really take it all that seriously. For them, it was more about jumping through the hoops needed to acquire statehood for Utah than any real change in doctrine. It was if God had winked and crossed His fingers behind His back when He told Wilford to issue the Manifesto.

Some Mormons, refusing to obey the Manifesto and fearful of the resulting federal crackdown on polygamists, pulled up stakes and moved to Mexico. Among them were Miles Romney, Mitt's great grandfather, and his three wives. The Romneys remained in Mexico until the Revolution, when Mitt's father, future Governor George, moved back to the States.

I suppose that it's because of this history that Mitt refuses to condemn the practice of plural marriage. Some might view such reluctance as being an impediment to his presidential chances, but now that Tierney and Kurtz are on the polygamy bandwagon, support for it may become a conservative litmus test. I hope that's the case.

Despite the Mormon Church's assurances that it opposes polygamy, it's still fairly widely practiced and accepted within Utah. I knew a few of them when I lived in Tremonton. As I recall, they were accepted and treated with respect by their neighbors as well as the Church. They were viewed more as being ultra-pious than heretical. More importantly, the men ruled their families as God intended. They also got the pick of all the young gals in their community. Their word had the force of God's will.

That's why Mitt's candidacy and the rise of a pro-polygamy lobby within the conservative chattering class is so encouraging to me. As I approach 50, Wilford's age when he married Sarah, the thought of a teenage second wife becomes more appealing every day.

Go Mitt.

Update: Ofjoshua says I'm the spitting image of my grandpa. He's a handsome devil prophet of the Lord, isn't he. I guess I'll have no problem finding a teenage sister-wife for her.