Still kicking Soviet butt

Given the Francophillic media's refusal to report on all the good news about Our Leader's successful war, economic, environmental, education, health care, medicare, social security, and civil rights policies, the Inner Party has had to find new ways to get its message out to the public. Some of these methods -- paying columnists to shill for the Administration for instance -- were incredibly successful until the American-haters started questioning Our Leader's inherent right to ignore the law.

Other methods have been less successful in changing public opinion but still provide other benefits that are just as important to our general morale.

Of these latter communication methods, I'm happiest about the revival of old Soviet-style reporting--like the Iraqi tractor repair good news story I wrote about a few weeks ago. Gosh, it feels good to finally beat the Soviets at their own game.

We saw a great example of the Information Ministry's work this week at the White House Easter Egg Roll. It was voiced by a group of children, who serenaded the media with this song:

Our country's stood beside us
People have sent us aid.
Katrina could not stop us, our hopes will never fade.
Congress, Bush and FEMA
People across our land
Together have come to rebuild us and we join them hand-in-hand!

Pravda-schmavda, we are now the kings of state-produced news.