Fragged by a fellow fighting keyboarder

One of the things in life of which I'm most proud is my service to my country as a soldier in the 101st "Fighting Keyboarders" Brigade. Every night, risking weight gain and carpal tunnel syndrome and armed only with a bag of Cheetos, a computer, and talking points I've gleaned from Fox News and the guy who yells at the pigeons at 6th and Yessler, I courageously post long rants against the French, homosexuals, brown people, cartoon characters, and any other terrorist group that dares question Our Leader's policies.

I have nothing but the utmost respect for my fellow fighting keyboarders. They're some of the bravest people I know. But, if pressed, I'd have to say that there are a couple for whom my respect exceeds all others. One of them is Ace of Ace of Spades, a man so committed to our Christian values, he's adopted the death card as his own personal coat of arms. You have to like a guy who enjoys bloodshed so much he's decided to embrace it as the defining feature his on-line persona.

That's why I was so hurt when he attacked me for my post about Mrs. Malkins values. You may remember it. It consisted of two graphics showing kids wearing military clothing and/or carrying guns. The first one featured American children and was labeled, "good."

The second graphic featured photos I found at Mrs. Malkin's blog. I labeled it, "bad." One of the photos pictured a kid in martyr gear holding an assault rife. The other showed a child being held by his Second-Amendment-loving father. Mrs. Malkin used the photos to justify the righteous, toddlercidal acts committed at Al Haditha.

Mr. Ace mistakenly thought I considered the nationalistic, brown, Islamunist children to be morally equivalent to nationalistic, god-fearing, white, Christianist kids. Nothing could be further from the truth. Heck, I labeled one graphic, "good," and the other, "bad," didn't I? I guess Mr. Ace missed those subtle clues.

To ensure that no one else makes the same mistake regarding my intention in making that post, I'm going to compare the reasons why the parents of these kids might dress their children up like that.

The Islamunist parents' reasons:

• To teach the children that fighting for their false God is a righteous act.
• To teach the children the importance of standing up against the benevolent oppressors who occupy their land for their own good.
• To teach the children that Christianists are out to destroy them in a crusade.

The Christianist parents' reasons:

• To teach the children that fighting for the one true God is a righteous act.
• To teach the children the importance of oppressing brown people, occupying their land, and killing them for their own good.
• To teach the children that Islamunists are out to destroy them in a jihad.

You see, I'm listing huge differences here. I don't see how anyone could accuse me of making moral equivalences.

I will admit, however, that Mrs. Malkin and I both made a mistake. The kid pictured in the right-hand photo of the "bad" graphic shouldn't be used as an example of a proto-terrorist. He isn't packing heat or wearing Hamas gear. We probably should have used this little foreign unbeliever instead.