Dear Mrs. Schlussel,
Someone left a very interesting voice mail on my Islamobrownunistofascist Hotline today. She didn't leave a name, but you're the first person who came to mind when I heard it. If you're like me, you might not remember any phone calls you make during "episodes," so I'm including a transcript to help jog your memory:
Now there's no need for that. I know exactly what the hell to tell you. Lies! Media Matters is no different than any other vegan lesbian transsexual "interspecies erotica" crypto-
ofascist organization -- they are all vile traitors. I try to run my blog properly by the book but they fight me at every turn. If they want to walk around looking like the same Korean, that's all right. I'll expose them as Indonesian Muslims. Islamobrownunistofascist, every last one of them.
And they encourage others to go around scoffing at me and spreading wild rumors about screaming jags and crying fits. And then old yellow stain, they called me old yellow stain and laughed and snickered. They made me the target of Keith Olbermann's wicked snark. Olbermann is the perfect commenter but not me. No, not Debbie. Don't listen to Debbie. Don't listen to old yellow stain. She sees Koran-reading Korean Indonesians everywhere.
Ah, but the strawberries! That's where I had them. They laughed at me and made jokes, but I proved beyond a shadow of a doubt, and with geometric logic, that a duplicate key to strawberry vault did exist! And I'd have produced that key if George Soros had allowed me to appear on Oprah! I-I-I know now they were only trying to protect some fellow vegan lesbian transsexual "interspecies erotica" cryptoislamunistofascist... and... ummmm... uhhhh... ohhh... click.
Does that ring a bell? If so, please send me a note and we'll get those God damned Seoul City Sunnis to cough up the strawberries. If you're not responsible for this call, do you know whether that Ace of Spades guy ever goes by the name, "Debbie."
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
Elsewhere: Sadly, more Debbie.