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Monday, April 16, 2007

Mainstreaming Our Confederate-American Heritage

Tony Perkins
Family Research Council

Dear Mr. Perkins,

As much as I enjoyed the part of your "Reclaiming America for Christ" sermon where you took Islamunism to task for being a very violent religion, I found the last part, the piece centered around the story of Phineas, to be much more uplifting. It's a story we just don't hear enough in these politically correct times. Thankfully, people like you aren't afraid to hold up the story of Phineas, and his use of impalement as a means of combating miscegenation, as an example of what Christianism should be and what American Christianism is becoming.

Sure there were others who preached the gospel of Phineas before you--good Confederate-Americans and heroes of the Heartland like Joseph Paul Franklin, Eric Rudolph, Byron De La Beckwith, Buford Furrow, and Paul Hill--but none of them had the kind of standing you have. You're the only person who has the ability and the will to take the Phineas Priesthood into the mainstream.

I salute you (straight armed) for trying to do it.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

Elswhere: The story of Phineas told with Legos (helmet tip to Albatrossity).

18 comments:

  1. Frist!

    Good on ya, Sir. I dunno if HelloScum is in cahoots with the NSA, but I'm damned glad that MzNicky, Democommie, SeattleTammy & SeattleDan will at least be able to comment here now, not to mention the probable dozens of others who've been blocked-out this week.

    Thanks for the alternate, and I love the link title.

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  2. Anonymous10:57 PM

    Jesus's General? I think not. I don't believe my beloved son has chosen one to replace Genghis Khan yet, who was quite a favorite. Jesus's private first class, maybe. Corporal, at best. You've got to dream, son, but don't push your luck. Patience is a virtue.

    Your friend, Mary.

    http://marygodsbitch.blogspot.com/

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  3. Eric Rudolph is not a terrorist, but an anti-terrorist fighter. Those who have killed babykilling abortionists have done so to protect the innocent. People use force everyday to protect the innocent and no one has a problem with it, except when it comes to protecting unborn human beings, then they go ballistic. It's very simple, the unborn deserve the same protection as the born. Born people are protected with force quite often. Force that you would be glad if it was to protect your children against a murderer. Force that you yourself might use to protect your own children from being murdered. The unborn deserve the same protection.
    SAY THIS PRAYER: Dear Jesus, I am a sinner and am headed to eternal hell because of my sins. I believe you died on the cross to take away my sins and to take me to heaven. Jesus, I ask you now to come into my heart and take away my sins and give me eternal life.

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  4. Troll Alert! Rev. Donald is here and proclaims the good works of Eric Rudolph. Next, I'm sure, wil be the decrying of the wicked death of the prophet Timothy McVeigh, he of sainted memory. Take it somewhere else, Rev. And may the Lord forgive you, asshole.

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  5. family values are so heartwarming, aren't they? I love impalement as a remedy for the mixing of the races... right next to putting spiked rings on boys' members to prevent sinful (though involuntary) nocturnal erections...

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  6. "Eric Rudolph is not a terrorist, but an anti-terrorist fighter. Those who have killed babykilling abortionists have done so to protect the innocent."

    Rev. Don - you forgot that Eric Rudolph also saved us from the evil that is Olympic celebrations...

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  7. I guess Rev. Spitz got tired of preaching to the choir and decided to take on this nest of unrepentant French people.

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  8. Anyone else ever notice that Rev. Donald and his cohorts only seem to be interested in saving innocent, unborn WHITE babies? Seems like all babies are created equal; but some "snowflakes" are more equal than others....

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  9. Mon general!

    Have you forgotten ze Teemosee McVeigh so soon???

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  10. From what I read on the linked pages in Dear General's post, abortion of not-white babies is "okay" with the NeoNazi-Wannabe-Small-Penis-Fearful-White-Mouth-Breathers Corps.

    Only the white babies are "worth" saving, ergo worth murdering actual, grown human beings over, by snipering them in front of their real, live, actual children who are already on this planet.

    But if you help the mud races get to the abortionist's office faster, then you're helping to "cleanse the planet".

    If only their "parents" (who obviously let them play with old batteries out behind the trailer park) had had the same foresight, then we wouldn't be plagued with the likes of the "Reverend" Dumbass Buttmunch here.

    If THAT is a "preacher," I want to see a theology degree and a seminary diploma. If THAT MONGREL EXCUSE FOR A HUMAN is a "real" "preacher," then I'm not only an anorexic supermodel astronaut, I'm POPE PANZERFAUST HIMSELF.

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  11. He Rev'rund Don - Now that my city's been given the chance to bid for the 2016 Olympics, do me a favor and stay the fuck away from Chicago, will ya?

    Thanks.

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  12. Oh, and Fuck Haloscan!

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  13. Anonymous4:22 PM

    Dear Rev:

    If those that never know Christ have not the opportunity to turn their back on him, and thus get a free pass to heaven...shouldn't we advocate abortion?

    Send babies to heaven - Abort Abort Abort!

    Signed,
    Five of Diamonds

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  14. Brother Rev. Don! Thanks be to Christ you have come.

    This den of wavering conservative Christians does not truly believe in the sanctity of human beings from the moment of conception; and so do not support waiving the Commandment forbiding the taking of life in order to bring each hungry, poor, raped by an uncle, future meth-addled, stupid-enough-to-believe Our Savior was NOT born of a virgin and DID NOT float bodily to Heaven after rising from the dead, Blessed child of God to term.

    White. I forgot to mention white.

    Welcome, Rev Don; let's lance some mixed-race couples together sometime.
    God wants that. His Book tells us so.

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  15. OmiGod! Not THE Rev Don Spitz? I am in awe, Sir. No one is a bigger supporter of murdering for Christ than you. And all this from a Reverend without even a congregation! Do you fund your good works yourself, or does your wife have a day job? That must be so embarassing for a true Christian like yourself, who only urges the murder of bad people.

    I'll tell my friend, the Rev Jerry Gloryhole, to look you up. You'll like him, I bet. be you can help.He wants a Canadian slave, as is his right. May

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  16. Maybe you can both teach me to keep the cursor in place, too.

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  17. It's very simple, the unborn deserve the same protection as the born. Born people are protected with force quite often. Force that you would be glad if it was to protect your children against a murderer. Force that you yourself might use to protect your own children from being murdered. The unborn deserve the same protection.

    # posted by Rev. Donald Spitz


    Oh, I don't know...it would save on college tuition, and I could cash in the insurance policy...

    Rev. Carl

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  18. Rev. Spits:

    Who's thre dandy who looks like a cross between a goose-stepper and a paramedic? That's sure a snazzy outfit. Any idea how I could score one before Octiber 31st? I'd like to order mine before next year's virtual Halloween party that's being sponsored by Hal Turner.
    And don't take the General's Gallic comments to your black little heart. His Inner Frenchman sneaks out at the most inopportune times. In real life, our Dear Leader of Manly Men knows that Eric Rudolph is just a misunderstood man who just hated seeing all them darlies winning all the golds, silvers and bronzes at running and jumping events. Perhaps we should have an Olympics just for white people? I hear that worked out real well for Hitler in 1936 (well, if you forget that Jesse character).

    Email me about the neoNazi EMT outfit, will you? TIA.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.