
The Opinion "Not even the dumbest, fattest-ass Southern white Republican will yell out like some damn fool yokel in front of both houses of congress during the President's speech on healthcare" has taken a good, long pull on a jug of moonshine and blown its own head off in a terrible bullet catching accident. And yes sir, it is a most demonstrably dead Opinion if ever there was one.
The Opinion, born and raised in a stucco cabin situated on the outskirts of some god-awful creeping moss pile of a town in South Carolina, enjoyed its brief life to the fullest and will be sorely missed by all of us who coincidentally believed that Foghorn Leghorn would stop beating that big hound's ass with a two-by-four every single time the opportunity presented itself. Let's face it: we who thought such things are just as dumb as a post, if that.
Family of the Opinion wish to thank everyone who ever held out the hope that privileged white men who insist that their dicks and the South will rise again will have the good taste to bite their tongues clean in two, the same way that they would have our nation cleaved in two. Talk of brown people, profit-mongering health insurance companies, Big Pharma, a faint hope of a Public Option--who would have thought such a convergence of topics spoken by a mixed-race President could have so agitated a god-fearing white man that he prematurely shot his load with the alacrity of a teenage boy at his first lap dance?
In lieu of donations read the Gettysburg Address or Moby Dick or Catcher in the Rye or whatever lights the bonfires of your mind. You'll be glad you did.
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The Opinuary Column appears Friday afternoons at Jesus' General.
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LIMA, Ohio — The air of Southside is foul-smelling and thick, filled with fumes from an oil refinery and diesel smoke from a train yard, with talk of riot and recrimination, and with angry questions: Why is Tarika Wilson dead? Why did the police shoot her baby?

NOW IN LIMA, a symbol of many problems and injustices that exist every day in this nation of ours for many people. A mother shot dead and her children left without the only person who stuck with them and fed them. Citizens tell us that racism from cops is ubiquitous in their lives and violence against them commonplace. Cops aren't saying a word, aside from "internal investigations have uncovered no evidence of police misconduct" (as we can well expect them to say) and the article assures us that "local officials recognize that the perception of systemic racism has opened a wide chasm." Damn perceptions! They are always hurting folk.
