Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")
Thanks!

Sunday, May 27, 2007

Political Rifts

It was impossible to surf the internets this past week without coming across evidence of a rift in the left over the emergency war supplemental appropriations bill. But, simultaneously, I noticed a dangerous fissure forming amongst the patriotic right. There was some hand-wringing because a Virgin Mary gave birth to a son.

The Concerned Women for America, normally an obedient group of stay-at-home uterine farmers and domicile managers, became downright apoplectic over Mary’s little miracle:

…Ms. Cheney has very sadly and selfishly made the conscious choice to deny her child a natural family environment. She has intentionally deprived him of his other parent – his father. […]

Ms. Cheney apparently intends to have a woman by the name of Heather Poe, whom she has identified as her lesbian “partner,” assist in the rearing of her son; but unfortunately, Ms. Poe can never replace little Samuel David’s other parent – his dad. One wonders if Ms. Cheney has ever contemplated what her childhood may have been like if she had been denied her own father.

The Fox News Channel, which in the past has at least made an effort to avoid liberal bias and political correctness in its reporting, has covered the story with the PC caption: Dick Cheney’s Daughter & Lesbian Partner Give Birth to Boy.
Three questions:
  • Are we supposed to take seriously this attack on Deputy Leader by a person named Matt writing on behalf of the Concerned Women for America?

  • When the CWA attacks FOX News, aren't we witnessing strong evidence that the rapture is nigh?

  • Why is it that every time a Virgin Mary gives birth, the Monarchy is in the midst of a program to slaughter young males?
The most serious wound in the fabric of the sanctified right is inflicted by The Reverend Fred Phelps of the Westboro Baptist Church in Topeka, Kansas:



He says some bad things about Deputy Leader and his properties. But if you strip out the hell-fire-and-brimstone rhetoric, cut through the Old Testament angst, and distill his message down to its essence, it’s apparent that The Reverend Phelps is simply a little…envious.

Really, he is only trying say, “Dick, you ol’ sonumbitch, congratulations, and let me give you a cigar.”

(Via Pam at Pandagon.)

5 comments:

  1. My inaugural address at the Great White Throne Judgment of the Dead, after I have raptured out billions! The Secret Rapture soon, by my hand!
    Read My Inaugural Address
    At = http://www.angelfire.com/crazy/spaceman

    ReplyDelete
  2. Great. Not just fucking blogwhore spammers, but fucking blogwhore spammers from ANGELFIRE.

    I'm so glad that you set up the Screw HaloScan comments, sir, so that we could attract such a higher caliber of spammers.

    And no, it's not hypocritical when I do it. So nyeh.

    ReplyDelete
  3. The child has been denied a normal family life by the fact one of its grandfathers is that spawn of Satan "I'm a Big" Dick Cheney not because one of its mums loves the other of its mums!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yes, I am a spammer.

    Where else would I be but Angelfire?
    Get it?

    ReplyDelete
  5. "One wonders if Ms. Cheney has ever contemplated what her childhood may have been like if she had been denied her own father."

    You know, the jokes really do write themselves.

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.