Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Saturday, May 12, 2007

Tough Duty

Chief Gil Kerlikowske
Seattle Police Department

Dear Chief Kerlikowske,

I hope the citizens of Seattle are proud of the work your doing. I certainly am. I'm particularly impressed by the job your vice squad is doing policing the strip clubs. Some might say that paying for hundreds of lap dances at anywhere from $20 to $100 a pop to get a few misdemeanor arrests isn't a very wise use of taxpayer funds, but I don't think they understand how dangerous such activity is. A hip move in the wrong direction could very well result in a broken or bruised thingy.

I bet it's very hard to keep your officers morale up. All that groping of breasts and stroking of nightsticks has to take its toll. It's a good thing you have so many officers from other units willing to step in and relieve them.

Your officers should also be commended for their thoroughness. Most departments would probably stop at one lap dance per dancer per night, but your officers go the extra mile with two or even three officers lining up to investigate the same dancer. That's the kind of commitment I'd hope every law enforcement officer would devote to a bust.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. Sylke1:42 PM

    Way back in the day, when I was a young stripper in Seattle, I went to jail for...wait for it...LEWD EYE CONTACT!! Yes, I dared to look at one of these tender police officers for longer than three (or is it five?) seconds, and I'm sure the poor thing never recovered. I went to jail, and spent the better part of a year in and out of the courthouse, for the high crime of looking at somebody.

    That night, I remember one young woman who was six months pregnant went to jail with us. We all protested, saying "leave her alone - she's pregnant!" The officer, who ony moments before had been hooting and throwing money on the stage, said "Well, she shouldn't be working here then."

    Yeah, that's right, the pregnant woman went to jail for the crime of trying to survive. Note they didn't even try to get the creep who knocked her up to fork over any child support.

    Slut shaming at its finest. Washington can bloviate about how it's a "blue" state all it wants, but the police force there is nothing but a group of bloated, misogynistic pricks who swagger around demanding that the wimmins respect their authoritah.

  2. Tell it to the IRS!

    Here at SeattleJew we believe in RESPONSIBILITY. In that spirit, can we find out if the officers reported the lap dances as income?

    Imagine the potential abuse if we allow all our public officials to get bennies like this and not pay taxes?


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.