Seattle Police Department
Dear Chief Kerlikowske,
I hope the citizens of Seattle are proud of the work your doing. I certainly am. I'm particularly impressed by the job your vice squad is doing policing the strip clubs. Some might say that paying for hundreds of lap dances at anywhere from $20 to $100 a pop to get a few misdemeanor arrests isn't a very wise use of taxpayer funds, but I don't think they understand how dangerous such activity is. A hip move in the wrong direction could very well result in a broken or bruised thingy.I bet it's very hard to keep your officers morale up. All that groping of breasts and stroking of nightsticks has to take its toll. It's a good thing you have so many officers from other units willing to step in and relieve them.
Your officers should also be commended for their thoroughness. Most departments would probably stop at one lap dance per dancer per night, but your officers go the extra mile with two or even three officers lining up to investigate the same dancer. That's the kind of commitment I'd hope every law enforcement officer would devote to a bust.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
