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Monday, July 09, 2007

The Congressional Black Caucus presents: "Who's the Homo"

Rep. Bennie Thompson
Chair, Congressional Black Caucus Institute

Dear Rep. Thompson,

I'm sorry to hear that you're scrambling to come up with programming to fill the time slated for the Democratic presidential debate you're fronting for Fox. I can't blame you. Given that most of the candidates are boycotting the event, the only viewers you're going to get are the handful of idiots who mistake Biden and Gravel for subjects in a documentary about rabies-induced dementia.

I have an idea you should consider. Last night, I was watching Fox News and I noticed they were teasing their audience with chyrons and soundclips suggesting that Senator Clinton might be a homosexual (which I find preposterous since women don't have a "little soldiers.") All through the program they ran little teasers like these over a video of a young woman singing about Hillary's butt: "there’s a girl who is hot for Hillary;" "how is that going to help or hurt Hillary;" and "Is this hot for the teacher or hots for Hillary?"

That reminded me of how Fox is always portraying John Edwards as being effeminate and thereby suggesting, through the use of a stereotype, that a leading Democratic candidate might not be fully committed to living a heterosexual lifestyle.

It seems to me that you could use Fox's expertise in homosexual-branding to fill some of that debate time. I'm thinking something along the lines of showing pictures of the candidates to a panel of Fox News all-stars and asking them to spot the homosexuals. You could call it something like "Who's the Homo."

Better yet, you could turn it into a game show format where the Fox all-stars play against each other. That would allow you to do a second round in which the all-stars try to pick out Barak Obama from a group of black people. That would provide them with a real challenge. 0h, oh, and do it with mug shots to scare Fox's core audience.

I hope I've been helpful.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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