Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

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Monday, November 12, 2007

A rising star in the GOP's minor leagues

Diane Ensey
Rovian Republican
A-List Review

Dear Mrs. Ensey,

I've been following the recent scandal about how you created a blog so you could anonymously attack your husband's city council opponent, Ron Bonlander. I was particularly impressed by your alleged fabrication of a report that Mr. Bonlander had been arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol. It might seem like a little thing now, but we Republicans respect mendacity, and I'm sure you'll be asked to help the party lie about bigger things in the future. Who knows, maybe you'll be tapped to provide the evidence that Iran was behind the California wildfires. I sure hope so. I think you deserve it.

You must be very disappointed, however, that your husband, Rick, ratted you out, and I suspect you might even be thinking of a way to punish him. Have you considered creating a blog so you could anonymously attack him? I'd be glad to help. Heck, I even have an idea for your first post. Why not accuse him of inappropriately touching my goat. I'm sure given the public's current perception of you, it'd be easy to convince people that Rick prefers the company of a hot she-goat. And it'd also help me out of a jam I'd rather not talk about right now

What do you think?

Heterosexually yours in a chaste, biblically approved, Republican office holder, rather do a goat kind of way,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.