It's not just Eureka Springs anymore

We all gasped in horror when Rep. Sally Kern told us that homosexual cabals were taking over our libraries. Later we shrieked in terror when she told us that these cabals had seized the reigns of power in Eureka Springs, AR--yes the very place where Our Lord's torture and gruesome murder is celebrated on the stage each Spring. But now, we learn that they may have made their greatest conquest ever, the Kern family, itself:

When Kern was asked about this by a local Oklahoma TV news station, she didn't deny it: Just said she didn't know and that he'd never told her or her husband that and that he lives in another city and that she'd not heard from him and that you'd have to ask him. (She also noted in breath that he was an "artistic" child and "played piano.")

Elsewhere: My militia infiltrates the Great Orange Satan.