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Thursday, March 06, 2008

What would Jesus Pack

Jim Astle
Jim's Gun Supply

Dear Jim,

I just finished exploring your web site, and I have to tell you, I'm astounded by the quality of your work. Your DuraCoat finishes are absolutely beautiful. I'm seriously considering getting each of my daughters one of your Hello Kitty SKS assault rifles. Like most little girls their age (eight and ten) they are huge Hello Kitty fans. I want the rifles with folding stocks, bayonet mounts, and 40 round banana clips. How much would that run me?

I found your site immediately after I read an a column by Doug Giles in Townhouse call "Would Christ Carry a Concealed Weapon?." It was a great piece where the pastor asserts that the real Jesus was a 'kill 'em all and let dad sort 'em out" kind of guy (I bet he packs a .50 cal. Desert Eagle).

I don't think it's a coincidence that I found you after reading that. God wants me to get my Armalite AR-50 sniper rifle DuraCoated in Our Savior's image. Specifically, I'm thinking about a camouflage look with crosses, fish symbols, and a series of pictures of a firearm-packing Jesus doing things like patrolling the border, waterboarding a foreigner, and gutting a thief.

What do you think? Could you do something like that? what would it cost?

Heterosexually yours,

Gen JC Christian, patriot

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