From that annals of the New Republican

Martin Peretz
Editor-in-Chief
The New Republic

Dear Mr. Peretz,

It's not easy to market yourself as a magazine for progressives when you consistently offer yourself up to the neocons like a gaggle of strapping young Republican men at a Patrick McHenry "greek night' party, but somehow you've managed to pull it off.

I guess some of that success is easily understandable. It's not hard to see why your target audience, the conservative/DLC/blue dog wing of the Democratic party, would support your championing of Joe Lieberman and your attacks on Howard Dean; however, it's much harder to see why your right-leaning Democratic subscriber base would continue to support you when you attack their candidates. And that's exactly what you did when you skewered both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama in your latest issue.

But then again, it's not really their politics that bothers you, is it. It's more than that. Looking at the Clinton piece, it's obvious why you went after her. The cover, article, and photos were a celebration of misogyny. All of the best old stereotypes were there. She's hysterical. She's a slave to her hormones. One is left wondering whether you believe that she should be forced to prove she's post-menopausal, lest she nukes Kansas while under the spell of a menstrual rage?

How dare a woman, even a fairly conservative one, presume herself worthy to be president.

And then there's the article where you ask if Obama is a marxist. Of course we have to wonder about that. He's not one of us. He's "the other." As such, he's shifty ,and he's conniving. By God, he's a Negro! How can we trust him? How can we trust any of them. They haven't shown us the proper gratitude for releasing them from the bonds of Jim Crow and slavery and allowing them to live in our ghettos. Certainly, he must be a communist--his pastor is bitter.

But in the end, your motive doesn't matter. It is the outcome that's important. And you're working as hard as anyone to further the goals of the Glorious Christian Conservative Cultural Revolution and finally build Our Leaderis Great Ownership Society.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot