Although I've given a lot of good political and spiritual advice to you, my soldiers, I've neglected another very important aspect of your education, your sex lives. That's why I've decided to do a sex advice column on Fridays. I haven't decided what to call it yet. If you have a suggestion, please put it in the comments. If I use it, I'll send you the tube sock I call "Tuesday." Heck, I'll even autograph it.
So if you need sexual advice, please don't hesitate to send me a note at firstname.lastname@example.org.