The Slippery Slope of Good Sportswomenship

I for one was shocked and appalled at the anti-American antics of the Central Washington University's women's softball team. Helping an injured opponent round the bases to complete the only home run of her college career? Where will this kind of behavior lead us? Egads, bedlam and chaos approaches, and we must steel ourselves against this corrupted vision of what it is to be human.

Yeah, I cried when I read the story, but it was the weak me, the elitist me, the me that needs to be shoved down and incarcerated and told to shut up and let the grown-ups run things. I must instead pledge allegiance to the me that knows we must destroy the opponent, we must never show mercy or compassion or by-golly love for our fellow human beings. How can we ever keep gambling legitimate if the players work for some abstraction like empathy or decency, and final scores mean less than those who play? Both Washington, DC and Las Vegas quake in their shiny boots this day, my friends, for something slouches around the base paths that will crack the very foundations of America. Methinks it could be heading towards you, so be alert and ready to fight the impulse to help others. Think of the children (but not too much...you might have to actually think of actual children, and who knows where that will lead?)!

Hopefully this story never gets to Obama and Hillary, for were they to follow this path the destruction of all the rules of the game would follow. Imagine if they reached out to each other and helped lift up the process to a higher plane? Ditto our media: Whither Matthews smirk? Whither Russert's punking? Wherefore Wolf's blathering? The Media must join us in destroying this pernicious and ill-thought out approach to life before it infects us all. What's next? Aiding the sick and poor? Seeking to find ourselves in The Other? If left unchecked, this sort of behavior could dismantle the Military Industrial Complex, people!

Next time you go to a sporting event and a player gets injured look to your God to utterly destroy the afflicted, before some do-gooder gets people all misty-eyed. Like math, America needs division. And subtraction. But no algebra, please.

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