Dennis R. Schrader
Deputy Administrator, National Preparedness
Federal Emergency Management Administration
Dear Mr. Schrader,
The first thought I had after hearing a report on the first responder training facility you're funding in New Mexico was "You're doing a heck of a job, Schrady." It's very comforting to know that we have someone like you doling out the cash at FEMA.
It's a shame you'll be replaced by this time next year, probably by some guy who thinks it's more important to finally provide housing for Katrina survivors than it is to teach fireman to respond to the terrorist takeover of a small town in the desert. Hell, they'll never make a movie about emergency housing, but there must be least two dozen flicks about small desert town takeovers. I bet that future Democratic FEMA appointee will be too god damned stupid to figure out he'll be missing out on all that Hollywood technical advisor money.
What are the chances that you could squeeze my militia in for a little training before you're gone? There's always the possibility that Deweyville will be invaded by terrorists. You know those god damned Islamunistofascists must be eyeing that bull the Goerings own. My militia might be the only thing standing between them and the source of Intermountain West's finest hereford semen.
More importantly, I understand from the report that the training exercise ends with a strip search of one of the women playing the role of a terrorist. "Sometimes you'll find a bomb hidden in a bra," was the reasoning the instructor used. Most of my men haven't seen a naked woman in real life. I'd like to show them one.
Damn, shooting guns and seeing naked women. It doesn't get any better than that!
Gen. JC Christian, patriot