Joe Lieberman, Antichrist

Juda Engelmayer
Christians United For Israel

Dear Mr. Engelmayer,

I appreciate all the good work Pastor Hagee and the other conference organizers are putting into the Christians United For Israel conference. It sounds like it might be a great event and I'd love to attend, but frankly, I'm too frightened to do so.

I'm sure you're as familiar with Pastor Hagee's work as I am. No doubt you've heard him speak about how the Holocaust was a good thing for Jews. And, of course he's right. All the great missionary efforts of the past, the Crusades, the Inquisition, the Indian wars, etc., began with a holocaust. Why not launch the last and greatest conversion effort with a genocide that is commensurate with such monumental effort.

Of course Jews see it differently. They tend to view the murder of at least six million of their family members a bit more negatively, and I suppose that makes it difficult for you to find Jewish people to speak at your conference. I mean what self-respecting Jew would appear at an event where the Holocaust is declared to be a good thing? Why would someone like Joe Lieberman--a man so chauvinistically Jewish he'd make Golda Meir feel like a shikse--accept an invitation to speak?

I think we can fond the answer to that in another Hagee sermon, The Final Dictator. It's the one where the good pastor declares the Antichrist to be a Jewish homosexual. For years, I was convinced he was talking about This American Life's David Rakoff, but now it obvious that Lieberman's the Antichrist he describes. Why else would he lend his credibility to anti-Semites.

Some might argue that it can't be Lieberman, because he's not a homosexual. But do we really know that? His "stance" could be just as wide as Larry Craig's. And how certain are we that Hadassah's really a woman anyway. For all we know, she could be Lindsey Graham in drag. You have to admit there's a resemblance there.

In any event, I'm not attending, There is no way you can guarantee that Joe won't eat my children, and if i leave them home, you what's stopping Lieberman from send Lanny Davis or Pamela Atlas Shrugs over to feast on them while I'm away (you know Lanny and Pam have gotta be guzzling virgin's blood as part of their beauty routine).

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot