Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Friday, October 31, 2008

McCain/Palin Victims of Brutal Attack?

(Jivester News, Lmtd.) Republican Presidential candidate John McCain, along with his running mate Sarah Palin, claimed during a Halloween press conference that this morning they were robbed, pinned to the ground and branded with the letter "B” on their faces, in what both are saying was a politically inspired attack by a black man. Palin, who said she was not raped but "...would have the baby if she she had been raped, and would have positioned her hips in such a way as to protect the nascent fetus immediately after the rape" pointed to the "B" on her face as proof of the late election season attack. She then winked a bunch of times, and spoke in "Tonguenese" a spiritual language said to have no meaning at all, though her mumbled "...yabba dabba doo" was vaguely familiar.

McCain, interviewed as he was returning from casket shopping, said he was attempting to take cash out of an ATM with his own check card when attacked, and Sarah just happened to be there clubbing to death a service dog when both were brutalized by "a very brown man of suspicious browness." Police who questioned McCain quickly discovered it wasn't his card but rather his wife's debit card, and it wasn't an ATM machine where the alleged attack occurred: it was a gaming table at a casino in New Jersey. And he wasn't attacked. And the "B" looked a lot like the "B" showcased on fake victim Ashley Todd's face in last week's absurd news cycle, now that I think of it. As a member of the media, I'm almost certain this means something. Almost.

Was this demonstrably false story a last ditch attempt by McCain & Palin to gain sympathy, inspire voters, whip up reflexive racist sentiments in an increasingly agitated public, frighten white women, get free candy on Halloween, make clowns cry, or perhaps a noble effort to defeat the insidious encroachment on our liberties by perfidious entities bent on destroying our way of life by taxing billionaires? Or was it all just my friend Barry doing a simple cut and paste bit of business with Photoshop? Only the grim march of time will tell...


Virtual face make-up of McCain/Palin performed by Barryshap. Heh-heh.


No comments:

Post a Comment

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.