Washington Post
Dear Mr. Will,
A lot has been said about the question you posed after last night's Obama speech. Most of the commentary has been negative, but I thought it was a great question, "When did men start hugging?"
It seems to be a fairly recent phenomenon, and, like you, I'm not very happy with it. What ever happened to the days when men expressed respect for each other with a quick pat on the butt? You don't see that much anymore these days except in sports.Even rarer is the custom of taking another man's testicles into your hand as you each swear an oath. It was big in biblical times. I rather like that custom, and wish it would come back. It adds gravity to oath taking; it bestows the act with deeper meaning. I think a lot of men would take voting more seriously if they had to swear the oath while some guy was holding their grenades. It just means more than checking a box next to some text on a form.
But now days, it seems that scrotal cradling has been replaced by hugging. And as I wrote above, I share your distaste for it. I felt very uncomfortable as I watched Obama and Coburn embrace. I just couldn't help but imagine them naked, and I wondered if the president might not swing the senator around right there and give him a righteous rogering. Thinking about that led to other thoughts and then to certain acts of which I'm too ashamed to admit here--lets just say I have some repenting and atoning to do, and I'll be making a trip to Seattle soon to see that guy who punishes men for money. You know what i mean. I'm sure you felt the same way.
Heterosexually yours,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
