Joe the Plumber
Dear Mr. Plumber,
By now, you've heard the news of Levi's and Bristol's break up. Although it's a sad event, it also provides you with a fantastic opportunity to unite the Republican Party by marrying into the Palin family. Think about it. You each lead the party's biggest factions. You are loved by those who reject the socialist notion of taking one's breath via nasal passages, and Bristol's mother, Sarah, has the support of the confederate values and witchcraft-security wings of the party. An alliance between the two of you would put 2012 within your grasp.
But you will have to act quickly, before Track Palin's deployment is over. You don't need to be competing against that family's destiny.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot