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Friday, April 17, 2009
The Opinuary Column
Posted by mjs
The Opinion We will be greeted as liberators vis a vis the United States of America's invasion of Iraq was quietly removed from life support this past weekend, whereupon it immediately keeled over and was as dead as a proverbial doornail. The Opinion, uttered numerous times with a straight face by former Vice-President Dick Cheney, had been kept alive since 2003 by a combination of a feeding tube and bullshit injections. The Opinion had spent the last couple of years quietly out of the limelight as it drifted in and out of nonsenseness.
A last ditch attempt to keep the Opinion alive was aborted when former President Bush's key to the White House failed to open any of the doors, nixing his effort to call Congress back for a special session. President Bush was escorted from the grounds and is said to be bar hopping in Alabama.
In honor of the Opinion's passing manure manufacturers in and around the nation's capital have agreed to chip in on a plaque commemorating the death of "the Mother of all Bullshit Piles."
A service to honor the deceased Opinion will be held at an undisclosed location, at a time that is to remain secret. In lieu of shovels Cheney asks that Americans continue shopping on credit, and when that runs out to go fuck themselves.