Private Grand Jury Issues Obama Indictment

Carl Swensson
Possible Amish Communist

Dear Mr. Swensson,

I was very excited to hear you had formed your own grand jury and presented an indictment against Barack Hussein Obama "aka Barry Soetoro" for the crimes of living in foreign countries as a child and possessing a birth certificate, but I became very alarmed after I read about your grand jury's process in detail. Indeed, I am now convinced that your grand jury was a sham, designed to fail so as to allow Obama to hide behind a double jeopardy defense in a future proceedings.

As a supposed constitutionalist and sovereign citizen, you know as well as I do that your failure to have your jurists swear oaths in a truly biblically-approved manner, (while clutching each other's manhood), invalidates the process, thus giving Obama an opportunity to escape justice via a technicality.

No doubt you also poisoned the process by conducting it in a room with a gold fringed admiralty flag rather than the official flags of the Various and United States of America.

But why? Could it be that you are secretly Amish like Obama? Or are you in league with the half-Vogon president of Venezuela, Hugo Chavez, and his secret sibling, Hillary Klinton? The common law grand jury I am forming will find the answer, and when we do, let me assure you, we will return an indictment.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot

p.s. You are hereby barred from attending anymore gun shows until our common law grand jury has finished its investigation. We will not allow you an opportunity to recruit patriot children into your alleged Amishocialistofascist lifestyle.