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Friday, June 05, 2009

The Opinuary Column



The Opinion Words matter died in what authorities are currently describing as a possible suicide. The Opinion, which has been around since language was invented, had lived a very responsible and happy life, enjoying the company of its friends and family when not hard at work being used to modulate incendiary speech, or to temper the vitriol in written commentaries designed to incite human beings to acts of violence or mayhem. 'Thoughtful, contemplative and sincere' are all words which have been used to describe the popular Opinion, which had achieved a good deal of fame as a cornerstone of democratic free speech.

FOX News commentator Bill O'Reilly has refused to comment on his involvement in a plan to remove the internal organs of The Opinion and use them in a national donor scheme, claiming he was "...not responsible for anything, anywhere, at any time." He further added, "Shut up!" Asked if he would yell fire in a crowded theater, O'Reilly responded by saying that "...Daily Kos is sinful, liberals eat their own butts, falafel should be thoroughly rinsed before being returned to the nightstand drawer, and killing is okay if it means you stop an abortion doctor from helping women in desperate and tragic need."

In lieu of paying that cowardly, pompous gasbag any more attention the family of the Opinion asks that you read up on the facts about late term abortions. Or you could just repeat vitriolic hate speech over and over and over and just hope no one is listening, lest an act of violence should ensue.

To be a demagogue in these heady times is to be nothing more than a benign entity that no one takes to heart, much less even listens to. Still, the voices that rattle around in the head of a presumably unhinged killer are not the products of a dissociative state unique to the mentally unstable individual, but rather are voices that all of us can hear and comprehend, made available by the mere flick of a television remote control. Such joy and wonder to be found in these magical boxes, where people who love us tell us what to think, and how to think it, and what to despise, and how to despise it.

Peace unto you and yours.

"Whoever controls the media controls the mind."
Jim Morrison

UPDATE: Words may indeed matter to Bill O'Reilly, who hears them selectively but shares them generously.

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The Opinuary Column appears Friday afternoons at Jesus' General.

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6 comments:

  1. "To be a demagogue in these heady times is to be nothing more than a benign entity that no one takes to heart, much less even listens to. Still, the voices that rattle around in the head of a presumably unhinged killer are not the products of a dissociative state unique to the mentally unstable individual, but rather are voices that all of us can hear and comprehend, made available by the mere flick of a television remote control. Such joy and wonder to be found in these magical boxes, where people who love us tell us what to think, and how to think it, and what to despise, and how to despise it."

    Damn, I wish I could write like you!

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  2. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    I think you're being a bit harsh re: Mr. O'Liarly. He, Rush Blimpboy, Sean Handjob and their distaff counterparts like mAnn Coulter and Michell Melikesomelongdong are only entertainers. Their words are as inconsequential as Benny Hill's. Truth be known it was probably a Benny Hill sketch that sent the "harvester" of that abortionist's soul on his mission. Yup, it's all Benny's fault; well, his and the Clenis.

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  3. In the age of the Information Highway and Cable News 24/7, words seem to be simply an avalanche of noise that serve to annoy more than inform. But:

    Words still matter if: One's choice of reading material (and choice of authors) is made as carefully as one's own choice of words used. Not everything printed is worth reading. Be particular.

    Words still matter if: One takes time to organize thoughts before speaking or writing. You owe it to yourself to take a few moments to self-edit.

    Words matter if: One realizes that there should be a skill and an art in the gathering of words to be used to express ideas and imagery. Combinations of word... the very order of words, make a world of difference.

    O'Reilly is a putty-faced cretin who blows words out of his mouth like I blow air out of my ass after eating jalepeno chili. Words will outlast him. Indeed, words will attend his funeral with a satisfied smirk on its face.

    Much like jalepeno chili will smile after it kills me.


    [jcricket's inner french not-man has had a long, bad day and has taken refuge in some vodka. She'll be back snarky as ever later on this weekend, I am sure.]

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  4. Words did not matter all that much to the FBI when the Wichita clinic reported the acts of vandalism (committed just prior to Tiller's assassination) by the man being held for the murder of Dr. Tiller. (I am unable to embed a link or copy and paste one into this comment box, but just google FBI/amy goodman/truthdig/dr. george tiller didn't have to die etc.--Rachel Maddow has been on this as well).

    Words didn't matter much to Dick Cheney back when he was connecting Saddam Hussein to Al Qaeda, nor do they matter now while he seeks to buttress the Military Industrial Complex and his personal legacy, a neat trick of teabagging warheads while tickling the ass of his own mortality. Fun. Fun. Fun.

    Words don't matter much to the media, they being complicit in their corporate role of aiding and abetting profits (often short term) for their overlords. This is not just another cup of paranoid Wingnuttia Frappe: we know these truths to be self-evident. They are only denied by those who benefit from their existence.

    Millions of us marched against the invasion of Iraq, but were ignored, and though I wish to give Obama the benefit of the doubt I also realize he is a man who is against expanding civil rights to gay couples who wish to be married, and he is very cozy with banking interests, and he has on more than one occasion used his professorial delivery to condescend (see "single payer") to those who do not have many chits in the lobbying game. He has talent and depth, but to what end they will be used I cannot yet say. Verily, I digress...

    Enjoy that vodka!

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  5. mjs,

    If words do not matter, then why do you bother to write them to us?

    Even in the face of failure, we rely on words to keep trying. We are creatures bent on wanting to get through to each other.


    Thank you, I truly am enjoying the vodka. The day is slipping off of me. Thank the gods for distillation. It won't be long before I turn in, so I bid adieu for now.

    Have a good evening, and then a good morning my friend.

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  6. If words do not matter, then why do you bother to write them to us?

    So I can steal things from your garage while you're at the computer. Nice router, by the way.

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.