Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "gen.jc.christian@gmail.com.")
Thanks!

Friday, June 05, 2009

The Incredible Winking Republican Jesus

11 comments:

  1. My inner frenchwoman sighs.

    I send her to her room.

    ReplyDelete
  2. What is that communist cat doing in the background?? Is your inner Frenchman a Berkeley Breathed character?

    ReplyDelete
  3. It's only murder when "the other" does it, not when "the we" do it. lol.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Of course, if we were inciting violence we'd bring race into it.

    ReplyDelete
  5. General, Sir:

    Is there a "Winking JESUS" doll, erm, I mean, action figure? Does IT just wink, or will it cry and do tricks (like changing my Red Bull into Muscatel) too? Does HE have a grrrlfriend named Raggedy Maggedy?

    ReplyDelete
  6. Permission to be un-snarky, sir, but right-the-fuck on! Look, having been raised Catholic, I think I get why some people are pro-life; but to compare abortion to murder is just plain extremism. As you imply, if people really thought it was murder, then killing an “abortionist” would be justified – both morally and legally. Truth is, nobody really believes it is murder (except for the real extremists, the ones who go around killing ob-gyns who perform abortions), but they are incapable of articulating exactly what it is they find so objectionable about abortion. So they use this extremist phraseology because it’s the best they can do. Or, because they really do want to appeal to the extremists. Or whatever. But it’s bullshit.

    Just like there is nothing in the Bible that actually supports the anti-abortion position, and, in fact, there’s plenty in it that actually undermines their position. But they can’t seem to accept the idea that there may be some source of morality other than the Bible, so they dress their anti-abortion speech in religious or biblical terms without seeing how inherently contradictory it is.

    It might actually be possible for the pro-lifers and pro-choice folks to have a dialogue if the pro-lifers would acknowledge that the thing they are trying to protect may be worthy of protection, but it’s not a “human being” in any real sense; and that the basis of their objection is something other than religious dogma. Unfortunately for them, if they acknowledge those basic things, then it is harder to maintain an absolutist stance.

    Holy crap.

    ReplyDelete
  7. I love Incredible Winking Republican Jesus! He makes me feel so safe, and yet righteous at the same time! Plus, he looks way better in a nice Brooks Bros. suit than scuffing around in some stinky ol' robe like some kind of dirty hippie.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Jesus isn't winking to be sarcastic. He has allergies.

    ReplyDelete
  9. A Brooks Brothers suit and no fucking sandals, goddammit. Only Bruno Maglis. Just like OJ.

    I hate those fucking sandals.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Dave,
    I was also raised Catholic. When I was pregnant with my twins, I kept looking at the ultrasound screen each visit and saying "Do you think they'll be humans? At this point they could be fish or maybe nice puppies."

    Anybody who's looked at that screen KNOWS that blob with the rudimentary brain stem and the beginnings of eyes isn't really a human being by a long shot.

    This is when I learned the phrase "Ontogeny Recapitulates Phylogeny" from my biologist (and heathen Baptist) husband. Maybe you have to accept our genetic similarities to all other vertebrates to see that the way I did. And most of the pro-lifers in my acquaintance reject that proximity entirely. After all, we're the only ones made in God's image. We're the only ones whose zygotes have souls.

    I challenge any non-medical professional to look at a sonogram of a puppy embryo and a human embryo, each at the halfway-done point, and tell which is which.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Is that a Glock in your pants, or are is there another reason you're winking at me, Jesus?

    ReplyDelete

We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.