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Friday, June 26, 2009

The Opinuary Column

The Opinion
You can live forever and ever
In Neverland
Nothing will ever harm you
No one will raise a hand
A magical place that can't be erased
No, no it can't
You can live forever and ever
In Neverland
has died of cardiac arrest at the age of fifty. The Opinion is survived by everyone who has ever wanted to turn their back on the insistent call of time and stay a child forever and ever, an ill-advised and impossible feat if ever there was one.

Our thoughts and prayers are with the Opinion's family and friends, many of whom will surely act as pallbearers, and truly many of them are known to us: Puff the Magic Dragon, Winnie the Pooh & the rest of the Hundred Acre Wood Gang, the Velveteen Rabbit, Mother Goose, Rat & Mole & Badger & Toad & The Piper at the Gates of Dawn, Peter Pan and Tinkerbell and Company, The Little Prince, Pinocchio & Geppetto & Jiminy Cricket & The Blue Fairy, Goodnight Moon, The Red Balloon, Snow White, Cinderella, The Little Engine That Could, Peter Piper, Chicken Little, The Snow Queen, The Little Mermaid, The Ugly Duckling, The Emperor's New Clothes, The Princess and the Pea, Thumbelina, The Wizard of Oz, Fernando the Bull, Babar, Dumbo, Bilbo Baggins, Gulliver (who asked that he not be listed for he is a Very Grown Up Man), The Cat in the Hat, Alice in Wonderland, Willy Wonka, Br'er Rabbit--the list just goes on and on. Perhaps Neverland is a place that you best carry inside your imagination and not try to actually live in: like many things in life, a day could come when it will surely break your heart.

In lieu of flowers many of the characters listed above suggested you construct a ladder out of moonbeams and climb up to the stars, whispering nonsense and nursery rhymes to the Northern Lights, or better yet wade into the harbor, and tie together all the boats! But beware the Castles of Childhood should they beckon for too long, for they can be turned into prisons!


The Opinuary Column appears Friday afternoons at Jesus' General.



  1. General, Sir:

    Are you telling us to Grow Up? Growing Up is scary. I, for one, love me some Velveteen Rabbit and some Cat in the Hat. (But not green eggs and ham. Yeech.)

    Thank you.

  2. Actually, Richard sir, this poster is mjs, he does some really wild stuff with words, I think I know how he does it, now.

  3. My bad, Tom and hats off to Mr. mjs (if, indeed that's his/her real name). I hate it when I make mistakes. Now I am going to have to go and flog myself or something.

  4. Grow up? Not a chance!

  5. Mr. mjs, Sir:

    I have braved the sea of opposing electrons to try to make a comment here.

    When I was a child, I had childish thoughts. Now that I am a man, I want a porno pony, or no fucking pony at all, you capice?

    I was talking to a young musician this evening, a wonderfully talented fellow, and when I pointed at the television which was running a story about MJ, he said, "Only in American, would we lionize a paedophile." Does that have something to do with the "Wizard of Oz", Sir?

  6. I won't grow up,
    (I won't grow up)
    I don't want to go to school.
    (I don't want to go to school)
    Just to learn to be a parrot,
    (Just to learn to be a parrot)
    And recite a silly rule.
    (And recite a silly rule)
    If growing up means
    It would be beneath my dignity to climb a tree,
    I'll never grow up, never grow up, never grow up
    Not me!
    Not I,
    Not me!
    Not me!

  7. Anonymous6:26 AM

    Nice Post

  8. Richard, my "real" name is Knowdoubt, sometimes I get confused and post as Tom. Actually, I didn't mean to "nitpick" just thought you might want to, "give credit where credit is due." The flogging, breath holding, and humming is all optional.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.