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Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Satan's Librarians

Bob Braun
Ginny and Jim Maziarka
Christian Civil Liberties Union

Dear Bob, Ginny, and Jim,

I've always admired the Christian Civil Liberties Union. You serve as a counter to the freespeechofascists at the ACLU. Without organizations like yours, people would be saying whatever the hell they want. It'd be anarchy.

Your latest case serves as an excellent example of the kind of good work you do. Who'd have dreamed that in the year of our Lord, 2009, a lawsuit would be filed demanding that a mob of angry elderly people be allowed to seize a book from a library for the purposes of burning it.

But I have to ask, is it enough to simply burn that one book, Baby Be-Bop? Shouldn't you use this opportunity to ask the Court to allow your grannytrüppen to burn down the whole library?   And, what the hell, how about roughing up the librarians with a little cane and walker action while you're at it. By God, that'd show the book pushers.

You just have to think a little bigger, I think.

Heterosexually yours,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. The elderly "victims" of the book in question have had their mental and emotional well-being adversely affected, and burning (or otherwise destroying) said book will make them feel better. "Kill the words! Kill the words!" and then it's off to the day room for bingo and Matlock.

    I blame FOX News and its hyper-inflated agit prop. Murdoch has stolen our grandparents! Storm the castle! Storm the castle!


  2. I want to see Bob Braun astraddle a bonfire of burning books. It would be an experiment to see if brass balls glow when heated to 451F.

  3. I'll allow the book burning, but only if we get to use the CCLU as kindling.

  4. General, Sir:

    The only way I know if it's allowed is to put it out there. Is it "Grannytruppen" or the "Sturmalzheimerung"?

  5. If you ask me this whole public library thing is nothing but big government nanny state Socialism. Why should I pay taxes so other people can get smarter than me? If I want to read a book (which I don't) I'd just order it from World Net Daily.

  6. Really, I mean really, we're revisiting this?

    Evolution was settled a century ago. Abortion was settled three decades ago. Book banning was settled somewhere in between.

    Get over it.

  7. Is the guy with the sign writing in tongues? The google is no help. Is it some sort of xian code? or is it an advert for a dionysian cult for senior pervs?

  8. In my dreams I write a banned book. They sell like hotcakes.

  9. dpjbro, I think that sign means Republican Religious Right Sex (8th grade and up) so maybe he's running for congress.

  10. Anonymous7:19 PM

    Completely off topic, I’ll admit. But I have to ask: Do we get to waterboard the white supremacists now?

  11. I've said it before, dammit! Go to the source: the lewdness starts with Homer's crazy Iliad. Or maybe it was Hesiod. He was a sheep herder after all.

  12. Just learned my local library has a copy of Aristophanes' Lysistrata. Talk about horney women! I filed a strong protest, of course. I'll bet anything the "author" is from the Bay Area.

  13. Chaucer! Rabelais! Balzac!

  14. shouldn't there be a "G" in front of the R's on the old fella's sign?? Then it would appropriately read as "GRRR Sex"!


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.