Help Me Reach 12 on the Manly Scale of Absolute Gender

If you like the patriotic work we're doing, please consider donating a few dollars. We could use it. (if asked for my email, use "")

Friday, July 03, 2009

Does Minuteman Senate Candidate Have Eye on Presidency

Chris Simcox
Candidate for US Senate

Dear Mr. Simcox,

At first, I couldn't understand why a Republican candidate for the US Senate would beg for twitter followers by signing up for a number of "Get Followers Fast" groups (see here, here, here, and here). I mean, hey, it doesn't say much about your ability to rally supporters with your message. If anything, it opens you up for endless mockery from those who oppose your candidacy.

But after looking at the people you follow on twitter, I've come to the conclusion that it's all part of a strategy to get your name mentioned as a presidential candidate along with Mark Sanford and John Ensign.

I mean look at the people you are following and read their tweets. I'm right, aren't I.

1. Holly_n_Howard - We really don't know what she thinks, because she's never posted a tweet. She just put up her picture..
2. EveEspitia - Eva is a little more communicative. She has 1 update: "sat at my computer typing in the What are you doing box."
3. sbutler010 has this to say: "No Message exist in your message list."
4. Mica_ excites us with : "Running errands meet thunderstorm. I'm soaked..! :o"
5. msashtontaylor offers up her policy experience, "I am the "Hot Chick" of the day on Minnesota's 93xRocks! :-)"
6. cupycake03 makes a fundraising event suggestion, "cant wait for your hanna montana the moviie to be shown here :)"

More heterosexually yours than ever,

Gen. JC Christian, patriot


  1. That #5 has some abs.

  2. General, Sir:

    That lady #5, msashtontaylor? Wasn't she one of the shape shifting twins in that "Matrix--Locked & Re-loaded And Ready To Rock'N'Fuckin'Roll On Your Gooey Bag Of Carbon-based, Protoplasmic Asses!"? I'm pretty sure she was, although they did a good job of suppressing her lady pillows (or maybe that was before she went all "Carrie" on us). I think the other twin was Teddy Nonuts Nugent.

  3. Hooray for family values. I see some hiking on the Appalachian Trail in this guy's future.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.