Capitol Resource Institute
Dear Mrs. England,
You abandoned a good man yesterday. Assemblyman Michael Duvall scored a 100% rating on your family values scorecard, yet you cast him aside simply because he was having sex with two lobbyists instead of his wife. Yes, that was wrong, but after all he's done for you, don't you think you should have stood by him. After all, if you look at the video and transcript, it's obvious that he tried to atone for his sinning.
Yes, at some point, he listened to that still soft voice within him, and responded as only a truly Christian man would: he punished the temptress by rebuking her for being "such a bad girl" as he spanked her naughty little behind.
And that's not all. He also refused to commit the sin of Onan and allow his seed to fall to the ground. As he tells it, he put his little Spermatazoan-Americans right where they're supposed to go:
And so, we had made love Wednesday–a lot! And so she’ll, she’s all, ‘I am going up and down the stairs, and you’re dripping out of me!’ So messy!”Well, OK, she might have been talking about her butt there, but, dammit, don't you think he deserves the benefit of doubt on this?
Heterosexually yours in a chaste and biblically appropriate kind of way,
Gen. JC Christian, patriot