Chaplaincy of Full Gospel Churches
cc: Dr. Orly Taitz, Esq.
Dear Chaplain Klingenschmitt,
I see Mikey Weinstein is suing you for asking our Lord, Jesus, to plunder his fields, seize his assets, kill him and his family, and then wipe away his descendants for 10 generations (audio).
Responding to a prayer with a lawsuit seems a little harsh to me, but then if God listens to you better than he listens to the fans of the Fort Oglethorpe Warriors, this whole lawsuit issue could become moot.
Unfortunately, God doesn't seem to be in a hurry to get his smite on, so I guess you have to prepare for court.
That means you'll need legal counsel. Might I suggest Dr. Orly Taitz, esq? You may have heard of her. She's leading the fight to expose Barack Hussein Obama as a black man. Her understanding of the law is so complex and cutting edge, no one in the legal community can figure out what the hell she's talking about. Heck, one judge fears her intellect so much, he's even barred her from his courtroom.
She's also a dentist. Take advantage of that. She can help you focus your prayers to cause the Weinsteins to lose their teeth more efficiently--she knows right where to place the abscesses. So instead of praying, "Lord, please take Mikey Weinstein's teeth from him," you could petition Jesus to "place great and terrible abscesses between the anterior medial and posterior roots of the maxillary second molar, adjacent to the anterior face of the mandibular lateral incisor..." That'll have Weinstein begging the judge for continuances until the final smiting.
One note of caution. Dr. Taitz website appears to be hotbed for viruses. I'd wear a hot suit around her.
Gen. JC Christian, patriot
A helmet tip to Matt.
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