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Tuesday, October 06, 2009

Conservapedia Truths

There are "truths" and then there are "Conservapedia Truths:"

Mahalaleel (Hebrew: מהללאל, Mahalal'el; "God shines forth" or "Blessed God"[1]) (395 AM-1290 AM or 3609BC-2714 BC) was the son of Cainan and the father of Jared. He was born to his father Cainan when Cainan was 70 years old, in 395 AM.[2]

Mahalaleel had a son, Jared, when he was 65 years old (460 AM).[3] He lived to be 895 years old, dying in 1290 AM.[4]


A giant is traditionally a massive mythological creature that in all other respects resembles a human being, or simply a particularly-large human being. Thus Robert Wadlow (1918-1940), the tallest human on record measuring 8'11", would not be a giant in the traditional sense as he was simply a human with a rare medical condition.
True giants form a race apart, and may be as tall as 60 to 100 feet. The Bible mentions giants under the term Nephilim, and these were certainly not human, but rather demonic offspring of fallen angels.


Triumphalism is the belief that one will always be victorious if one is on the right side. When you have faith, triumphalism comes naturally since you will always have God on your side when you are acting out His Will. Triumphalism is the opposite of defeatism.


Witchcraft, often referred to as "magic" or "black magic", is the use of supernatural powers as prohibited in the Bible. Witchcraft includes any act or instance of employing sorcery regardless of intent. Witchcraft calls upon powers other than those of God, the opposite of Christian prayer. Christians who believe in Biblical truth consider witchcraft to be against the teachings of God and hence evil.

In-vitro Fertilization

In-vitro Fertilization, or IVF is a technique of creating life by fertilizing an egg outside the human body. It is used when traditional pregnancy cannot be achieved.

This technique has the potential to benefit families by blessing them with children, but it is typically only used by liberals, since it often ends up creating many babies that are allowed to die when the parents only want to care for one.

Conservatives have created a program to adopt the abandoned babies, sometimes over the objections of liberals who believe they "own" the babies, and therefore have the right to "disregard" (that is, kill) them. [1]

The Catholic Church is opposed to the process because it separates procreation from sexual intercourse, as well as for the above mentioned negative side effects.
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  1. Oh, come on now. What they meant to say was that IVF “is typically used only buy liberals, because conservative men don’t shoot blanks!

    A little truthiness never hurt nobody.

  2. Cumservatives make the best baby buyers.


  3. "The Catholic Church is opposed to the process because it separates procreation from sexual intercourse, as well as for the above mentioned negative side effects."

    The Catholic Church has already provided a church-sanctioned means to separate the two functions, which involves priests and small boys.


We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.