The Billionaire's Lament

H. Ross Perot Jr is living the American dream. He made billions through government subsidized real estate deals. Special tax breaks and Bush era tax cuts provided him with enough disposable income that he thinks nothing of spending a million dollars on a rhino hunt and a couple more million to buy his own personal military jet.

But friends, H. Ross Perot Jr is in a bind now, and I think we should support him with the same zeal we've expended for his peers at the head of our nation's health insurance pharmaceutical companies.

The nation of South Africa denied him a rhino head, and it rightly has him seething with O'Reillian anger. He deserves that head. His shot grazed the rhino's skin in a hunt last July, but the cowardly beast ran off before he could take another shot. Now, the South Africans are refusing to give him--or more precisely, his hired hunter--another chance at bagging that rhino.

What kind of world is it that would deny a billionaire the right to prove his manhood by dispatching a hunter to bring him back a rhinoceros head? It most certainly isn't the kind of place where I want to live.

This isn't the first time a government's thwarted one of Mr. Perot's quests to prove his manhood. A few years back, he illegally bought a military jet, only to have the federal government take it from him.

I don't think it's possible for most of us to comprehend the pain Perot Jr must feel. Here's a man who's stood in his famous father's shadow his entire life, but every time he tries to do something that would announce to the world that he's every bit the man his father is, a government takes it away. And surely, it doesn't help that he was diminished further when his own son, Hill Perot, brought back a rhino head from the same hunt.

Maybe he should follow George W. Bush's example and prove his manhood by bombing the shit out of someone.

That's why I'm asking you to contact your congressman and demand that legislation be passed to allow H. Ross Perot Jr to obtain a private military jet and use it to bomb a village of his choice in South Africa. Surely he deserves it. It's a matter of class privilege.

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