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Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Amazon Review: Still Standing by Carrie Prejean

Update: It's now the most helpful favorable review. Let's run the score up.

My Amazon review of Carrie Prejean's Still Standing is up. You can find it here. If you like it, please cast a vote recommending it, so it becomes the "top favorable review."
5.0 out of 5 stars A Little More Leviticus, Please, November 11, 2009
By Gen. JC Christian, patriot (Tremonton, UT United States) - See all my reviews
As a paean to love segregation, "Still Standing" serves its purpose. Readers will come away understanding why it is so important to deny basic human rights to their fellow Americans. But it could have been so much more than that. Take a look at the chapter on pornography. Think about how much better it would have been if Miss Prejean had discussed her own video, the one in which she pleasures herself in front of a camera. It would have offered her an opportunity to discuss the Book of Leviticus and God's commandment to use kosher hot dogs. Christian study groups would be scrambling to buy it.

Although the writing in Miss Prejean's book caused me to throw up a little in my mouth, the spirit moves me to give it five stars. I know some might find that a little strange, but a book is more than simply words, sentences, and chapters; it's also cover art, spine glue, and the little blurbs the publisher commands its other authors to write. In sum, all these pieces must come together to make a book. If I love the smell of the book's spine glue, shouldn't I be allowed to reward the publisher with a few extra stars? I certainly think so.

One might also consider the writing to be like Miss Prejean before the Miss California Pageant and the cover art like the silicon implants officials gave her after she won. The original writing is common and fairly unexciting but the cover art makes the book a little more enticing. I like the way she's looking up and to the side. It's the same look she gives in that famous photo of her standing on a beach in the wind, her open shirt flowing back to expose her surgeon's magnificent works of art. That alone is reason enough to put it on your list the next time you go to the library.

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16 comments:

  1. If you like the book then you'll love the Larry King Live interview!!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1R0a9xq6uek

    Apparently, Miss Prejean thought she was asked to come on the show to discuss beauty secrets and what she's been up to lately.

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  2. By sheer luck, I watched the part of the interview when she removes her microphone, but remains seated (?!) and smiling as she tells Larry, "You're being inappropriate"...

    Titillating.

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  3. General, are you encouraging people (and by "people", I mean "young men") to play with their little soldiers in public? After all, you're asking people (see above) to read this book at a library.
    I think you should be ashamed to ask anyone to read, though. Patriots don't have time to read these days, what with our tebagging and rooting out Commie pinko islamafascisct traitors in out midst. I'll wait for the audio book read by Dick Cheney. I looove that wheeze.

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  4. Off topic, General, sir, but my Irish Catholic ancestors endured 800 years of oppression in their homeland only to have the Catholic church in America come to this:

    The Catholic Archdiocese of Washington said Wednesday that it will be unable to continue the social service programs it runs for the District if the city doesn’t change a proposed same-sex marriage law, a threat that could affect tens of thousands of people the church helps with adoption, homelessness and health care.

    Under the bill, headed for a D.C. Council vote next month, religious organizations would not be required to perform or make space available for same-sex weddings. But they would have to obey city laws prohibiting discrimination against gay men and lesbians.

    Fearful that they could be forced, among other things, to extend employee benefits to same-sex married couples, church officials said they would have no choice but to abandon their contracts with the city.


    Well, thank God the church had already ceded whatever moral high ground it had, what with all the supporting of the Bush/Cheney torture cabal and all.

    Holy shit. You’ll pardon the expression.

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  5. BOYCOT THE BOOK! she was sooo stupid on that lary king interview all she cared about was advertiseing the book.. What a fake! didnt even want to hear from her fans. the book is a lie. she is a fake dumb blonde

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  6. Carrie chose to receive fake titties, which also means she cannot breast feed any children she may have. I'll say it here first: Carrie, I will not be your baby.

    ++++

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  9. General Sir, as good as your book review is, I like your response to "Big Horse" even better.

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  10. Holy Cow, I tried to join the Amazon conversation, given that I was properly registered and signed in, and they informed me that I need to buy something in order to participate!

    Don't they know I live in Rhode Island, the state with the worst economy this side of Michigan (or that side of Mich).

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  11. reposted from that thread...

    Hi General -- I might argue more, if I wasn't wracked with ennui.

    It wouldn't be with logical fallacies, though, such as strawman arguments and ad hominem. After all, if the argument can be made logically, why drag illogic into it?

    But I suppose some folks don't quite get that, and would rather argue "against" "a side", as if they were playing some kind of one-dimensional football game, where the leader of the free world is their "quarterback" that they want to "tackle".

    But sensible folks can see through that, since they know that two wrongs don't make a right. So (say) Pres. Obama being wrong about something doesn't make Prejean less wrong.

    But the use of such low-brow tactics does underline an admission by those that employ them: for them, Pres. Obama (for example) is the standard by which they judge Prejean...and once this is pointed out to them, they sputter with pretended indignation, as if this wasn't already painfully obvious to anyone with half a brain.

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  12. Yesterday I sat in a bookstore and read large chunks of the infamous volume (a misnomer really given the very slender nature of the text).

    What was truly a pleasant surprise, was the retelling of the Purim story near the end.

    In Hebrew school, I was taught that the Book of Esther while entertaining has lesser value. I also remember learning that during the Purim celebration one is supposed to become so drunk as to not be able to distinguish between Haman and Mordechai!

    Miss Carrie attributes her version of the Esther story to her Pastor. Alas I've forgotten his name, possibly Simon.(?)

    Purim was one of my favorite holidays until I started to reflect upon it.

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  13. I did "click to look inside"; how disappointed I was not to find a masturbation video.

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  14. kth:

    "I did "click to look inside"; how disappointed I was not to find a masturbation video."

    Let me know what your requirements are.

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  15. Wants to see the vid...
    again and again
    Slo mo, back and forth
    Really loud

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  16. I know some might find that a little strange, but a book is more than simply words, sentences, and chapters; it's also cover art, spine glue, and the little blurbs the publisher commands its other authors to write.

    Oh! Jesus, Joseph and Mary that was damn funny!

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We'll try dumping haloscan and see how it works.